It’s All About You

I think about the possibilities of having a clone sometimes when I’m at work. It’s kind of jerky, because I believe that people enjoy talking to me. Lately I haven’t thought about the possibilities of a clone when at work. Ive been learning how to adjust my attitude and perspective. I truly enjoy interacting with people. Once you can take charge of yourself, it all falls into place. You dictate the terms, the pace, the energy, and before you know it, people are manageable. The cloning revisited me as I made a drink tonight. I imagined my clone hanging out in my room sitting with our cat. It’s already “our.” The clone is interesting and absolutely terrifying. Would my clone want the same whiskey drink I’m making? Of course it would, yes? If I were to be cloned right now, in my understanding, the clone would be just like me up until “now.” In my brain, this clone would look identical to me, tattoos, injures, scars, and all. Same memories of family, of jobs, of relationships, of all my life experience. In this moment where I’m making two of the same drinks, and I’m about to bring them into “our” room, I wonder in full terror, “will I find new relationships?” The clone’s brain is taking in the movie differently? The taste of the drink is different? Is this just making love to myself? The whole idea of finding someone…..opposites attract…etc. The idea that someone is out there. Someone works for you. And how MANY failures of attempting a life with someone….so many….Or maybe it’s the running with the devil life….one day at a time, don’t get too close, don’t call this love. But what if you could just be with your clone? Are we wearing suits tonight? Are we wearing tight black things? Instead of looking in the mirror or being introspective, you just say to your clone, “That was fucked up.” The clone responds…..not how you want it to!! Or does it?? Because the fantasy is someone that just simply agrees. But it just won’t work out on any level. The whole idea is to be pushed to grow, to better yourself, to learn more about yourself through experiencing life with another person!! But what if you love yourself so much? What if you could do everything with yourself? Why beat off again? When you ask yourself a question, you answer back. If someone fucks with you, you have your other version waiting to get your back. The idea is endless. If you want to be with someone else, or alone, your clone simply hangs back. What individual person acts like this and it’s okay? When I go away, the clone stays and works and takes care of the cat and …….when I’m home, the clone keeps me company. So sad and strange. So in all reality, it’s all well and good to be alone when you are. If writing this scares me, I can’t imagine how much my actual clone would scare me.


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