Single barista single handedly upsets entire coffee community

“I used to love speaking with him about the music he was playing. It’s just not the same experience anymore.” Says Marcy who dances at the exquisite dance company next door. On the other hand, Randy who scoops out bagels on 13th st has something nicer to say.

“I was always curious to talk with him, but now my curiosity burns like a fever. I can’t wait to scoop him a bagel one day hopefully. He can take all the time he wants making my cortado.”
The entire coffee community is ignited by this new decision made by the once shy barista. I have not been able to score an interview with the barista myself. The line was always there, but now with the picketing, bat wheedling characters, and hate mongering obstructed halo benders, who knew whiskers on a barista could cause such a stir? The good news is that all jibe aside, the beard appears to be favored. Keep your fingers crossed, I just may get an interview when the heat cools down!


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